Dear Abby: Ex-wife returns after 46 years to ‘explain’

Dear Abby When my first wife and I were in our early s she left me for another man It was demanding but I worked through it learned to trust again and remarried a limited years later This may be hard to believe but years later my ex-wife thought it would be a good idea to try to connect through social media I knew how to find her if I needed to but I had no desire to relive that memory I made the mistake of replying that I didn t think it was a good idea to connect Unfortunately that response led to her trying to explain why things happened in the past It seems she didn t realize that once you dump someone you forgo the right to be friends regardless of how long ago it has been Her explanation brought back much of the pain I felt so long ago Please let your readers know that once you divorce it is over forever so hopefully they won t have to deal with this like I have Disappointed in the East Dear Disappointed I am passing along your message However a few people can t just move on with their lives after a divorce because they are tied together by their children What your first wife may have wished was forgiveness from you or help in forgiving herself but you were not obligated to relieve her of her guilt I m glad you have firmly closed that unhappy chapter in your life Now go on Live your life and don t look back Dear Abby My husband constantly tells me everything I do is wrong He was in the Army for years We have been together for five years but married for only of them When I try to cook he tells me that s not the way to do it I used to love cooking but now I hate it so I quit trying although I still cook whenever he s gone He is the only one of us with an income but he declared he doesn t want me working because of my vitality problems He had a quadruple maneuver around six months ago and it changed him for the worse His recovery was remarkable but he began drinking He no longer talks to me he yells and argues from the time I get up until I go to bed I m at the end of my rope and not sure what to do I love him but I can t live like this anymore Please give me specific ideas on what to do Hurting in South Carolina Dear Hurting Start looking for a job It may give you a degree of independence and get you out of the house Your husband was already controlling before his surgery and you need space to breathe If his emotional abuse continues contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline - - - and describe what has been going on Although you love your husband you may have to decide if you can remain with the status quo Dear Readers I wish a very Happy Mother s Day to mothers everywhere birth mothers adoptive and foster mothers stepmothers grandmothers who are raising their grandchildren as well as dual-role dads Orchids to all of you for the love you give not only in contemporary times but each and every day Love Abby Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA