Harriette Cole: The bride thinks my wife will create drama at the wedding
DEAR HARRIETTE I m at the moment caught in a battle between my sister and my wife Related Articles Harriette Cole I want our vacation to be G-rated and my son s girlfriend is not Harriette Cole Everyone in the restaurant was staring and my friend pretended she didn t know me Harriette Cole My tattletale co-worker keeps running to the boss Harriette Cole He s flaky and brooding but I can t stay away Harriette Cole I can t be happy when I m with my childless friends My sister is getting married soon and unfortunately does not want my wife to attend My sister has consistently been rather protective or defensive of me and about a year ago after taking a trip together she decided that she thinks my wife is self-centered At first I laughed it off because I disagree But throughout the year I ve noticed that they don t talk much anymore and my sister can be a bit unkind to my wife Despite the pettiness my wife has remained respectful In the last few days I ve had to speak up about my sister s behavior because it makes me uncomfortable I am upset that she is trying to justify her decision to exclude my wife by saying it s her day and she doesn t want any drama My sister and I have inevitably been close but I won t allow her to drive a wedge between me and my wife This should be such a joyous occasion Is there something I can do to get through to my sister I don t want her or my wife s feelings to be hurt Protective Sister DEAR PROTECTIVE SISTER Talk to your wife about it Get her to weigh in She knows this is your sister who is getting married She may welcome not having to go to the wedding and pretending to be relaxed She may also be perfectly fine with you going It is your sister after all She also could be hurt or sad that at a family function as crucial as a wedding your sister would choose to cut her out Decide your next initiatives based on your conversation with your wife Just make sure that the two of you are united in your decision and proceed Ultimately all of you should work hard to get along as you are becoming family Sometimes it takes a while for the bond to stick DEAR HARRIETTE I fear that I ve been neglecting my girlfriend She hasn t commented anything and I didn t even notice my friends did Last year my mom passed away suddenly and that turned my whole world upside down My girlfriend was so good to me during that time She was there for me every single day taking care of all the things I couldn t Even though it s been a while sometimes I still grieve When I have those hard days I don t notice or pay attention to much else My friends brought it to my attention that it seems like she is carrying the weight of our relationship I explained that sometimes it s hard for me to show up as my best self and they suggested that I stop stringing her along Related Articles Dear Abby I identified these photos of his proposal to another woman Asking Eric I was just rubbing my son s head and my husband got weirded out Harriette Cole I want our vacation to be G-rated and my son s girlfriend is not Miss Manners My wife s habit makes me cringe After all these years should I say something Dear Abby She wants to dress my little girl in sequins and leopard print I love her I am just going through a tough season Am I selfish for holding on to my girlfriend knowing that I am not the same partner I used to be Selfishly Grieving DEAR SELFISHLY GRIEVING Grief does not have a time limit No you shouldn t leave your girlfriend Instead talk to her Apologize for not being as present as either of you would like Explain that grieving is taking longer than you imagined Thank her for being there for you through it all Pledge to do your best to be more attentive in the days and weeks ahead Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions to askharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO
